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I am a 37 yr old woman, eagerly awaiting my midlife crisis. I've heard so many complaints about the effects on hormones, and changes in the body....yet not so much about it's obvious effect on a [previously] well grounded, down to earth and totally,utterly SANE...."how dare one suggest that one is not in one's right mind!!!Well!" kinda mindset. Like having a few off centre{allegedly} ideas managing to slip by the 'mad,not quite right sounding...even things never thought before much less uttered safe guard' generally in place in order to appear to be like the rest of the world. I have not found my place in this world...and as I see more and more for myself how it has changed..that is...I don't watch the news or listen to what the PM would like our eyes to go to. Much wiser to look in the opposite direction to the one he's pointing........chances are the senate is slipping thru some by-laws, little ones it would seem.....but some carry the clout necessary to get a country of characters proud of their individuality and our ability to stand our own ground. Overseas. One moment, I didn't intend to sound so inane. How can overseas in other countries be standing our own ground. I am my own best friend, albeit Jesus is ever near, and far closer to me than I am. I live in an isolated area, and from 7am til 5pm I see no-one [unless I glance as I pass a mirror], when my almost full grown and come home. They are..and their deeds...proof that something other than myself and my well-wishes is at work in their lives. I am unable to complain about how wild and out of control my adolescents are. I'd be the first to ? how they managed to come out the other end of a big long tunnel, with no light at the end,...which...unfortunately they traversed with me. Which, in hindsight and having been stably in a home of our own for 2 yrs now, is bearing a far different fruit than the fruit I feared such exposure to the bad side of the coin would result in. At their stage in life, personally speaking and with chrystal clear hindsight[as it always is] I was running amok. Of course I had far more access to amok than they do living out here. Not that I deny them their opportunity. It's a big property, my boy is nearly 6' and nearly 17, whilst my will turn 18 next b/day, and as they're both hangin' in there at school, every few months, they get together a bunch of mates....those used to being suppressed, so the neighbors don't hear, or unsuppressed, neighbors go jump/type yahoos can come on out and not get told every hr to quiet down. It also comes with the added bonus that I know where my 2 are, thus not worrying about them. And I can let 'em get it all out, knowing they can't go far...too many fences. 11km from the closest main road. Seems an invitation out to chill for a day or two is very attractive to the 'poor buggers' as I call 'em, who have to live in the same neighborhood as they go to school: therefore giving no relief from the problems teenagers can make of the smallest things....blown up to a larger than life problem, because there's no real way to get away from it all. If they don't go out, the chances of it knocking on their door is so much greater than out here.....the midway point of a 64km round trip. People just don't want to travel so far to get in one's face. Round the corner is a different matter. And with all of these benefits granted by a country home....I am sooooo lonely. I need to get out more. In my case,that's not just something to say when committing a faux pas. Hope I haven't bored anyone to tears, in the case of those who didn't just stop reading what is ....as I look it over....a well disguised whinge. No point in that. There is always a bright side. I begin a Intro to University course...inc. English Lit, time prioritizing, good study habits,etc. All because I am no longer able to sit here alone in my head. Astounding really, just what games the mind is capable of playing w/ itself. Unbeknownst to me, that I found most disconcerting. Please communicate with me. My e-mail address is obscene. Please look past it to the reality behind.
My Ideal Person
Has to be a jesus 'freak'. Not take offense often. I don't. No room for extra fences. ha ha. A sense of humour...including an ability to find a laugh no matter the the things life throws about seemingly randomly. An ability to take the twisted and wrong and gain only the good and right from 'it'.
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