|
Aloha
|
Nov 8, 2009 10:44 pm
2603 Views
|
After my divorce this site became a big part of my world. I met some great people here, learned a few things and had some good times. I haven't been around much in the last year or so but I've thought of many of you often. If you read my previous post you'll know part of the reason for my absence. There are other factors, but you don't really want to know them.
So all good things must come to an end, right? I'm not the type to disappear quietly into the night tho. I like to make an entrance and I like to exit leaving something to remember. I won't be back here, not even to delete my account.
To all of you looking for that someone special, I hope you find them. To those just here for a creative outlet, Blog on!
If anyone wants to contact me, there are people here who know how to do that. I'd leave my email address in this post but this site won't allow it. It might be in my profile, I really don't recall.
Anyway... Enjoy The Ride.
James
Ooops something to remember....
There's a storm coming.
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
|
The death of my best friend
|
Oct 25, 2009 8:51 pm
2380 Views
|
Joanie is my friend.
We've known each other for over thirty years, twenty five of them as husband and wife, but all as best friends. I can't say that we were ever "madly in love" but we were consumate friends and we were comfortable with each other. Eventually tho, we mutually decided that our friendship was still strong but our relationship had gone stale. So to preserve the friendship, we got divorced. My favorite story is how we celebrated our divorce in the same restaurant as we celebrated our marriage.
This story is not to preach about mammograms or to extol the wonders of modern medicine which I do have reservations about. Nor is it a condemnation of natural medicine or homeopathic methods which I do believe in. This is just about one person's choice and the result.
About a year before our divorce, Joan noticed a small lump in her left breast. It would be months before she even told me about it and when I pressed for her to get a mammogram she adamantly refused. She said, "If it's cancer, I don't want to know".
It took over a year for the lump to grow large enuff and with my constant nagging, to convince her to get it checked. The prognosis, Stage three cancer, death within six months without immediate chemo and then a mastectomy. Joan refused and partially at least, I agreed with her. Chemo had made the last months of my Uncle's life a living hell. And I had heard other horror stories as well. I did discover later tho that chemo therapy has improved and is not nearly as much torture as it had been.
But then there' the issue about having a part of your womanhood removed. I think that's what bothered Joanie, who was always a little vain. Even after the surgeon removed it last month, she kept repeating that they took it without her knowledge.
But when we first admitted her to the hospital and the Doc with the terrible bedside manner asked...
"What do you expect us to do for you?"
She looked at me and I said, "Anything you can to give her a chance."
She had begun doing research on alternative cancer treatments right after the diagnosis. She began a strict diet, took a plethora of herbs and spent a fortune on pie in the sky medicines from Internet snake oil salesmen. By then we had filed for divorce six months earlier and were no longer living together. Occasionally I would sneak in a comment about "maybe you should consider conventional treatment", but generally I would just be supportive of her direction. After two years it seemed it might be working. She had past the Oncologists dire forecast by eighteen months and seemed strong.
But eventually it was obvious that this line of self curing had slowed the disease but wasn't stopping it. Joan and I had had a falling out and I was to learn about her Natureopath later, and the real torture my friend had endured for over a year.
She would make daily trips to see this Natureopath, a woman I'll call O. During those rather expensive visits, things like foot baths and colon cleansing and such were a regular occurrence. Then something radical was tried. O acquired a questionable (and frowned upon by the AMA) medicine from Mexico that has cured some cancers and killed the patient in other instances. I won't elaborate on this drug. A quick search on the net using just those clues will give you the answer if you don't know it already.
This substance in theory kills the tumors and then once dead, they are drawn to the surface with a salve where they fall harmlessly off. Sounds pretty clean.
It didn't work out that way. The lump did eventually come to the surface, but while this was happening many more tumors had sprouted. All over Joan's chest. O believed the tumors were dead cells that had surfaced and would fall off. In the mean time the large tumor had erupted on the surface of Joan's breast but had not dried or fallen off. And it had become very painful during the three or four months Joan had been waiting for that to happen.
O made the decision to remove it surgically. Without anesthesia. To treat the infection, she would take a swab of Colloidal Silver and jam it into the wound and swirl it around.
This is when I came into the picture again. I asked Joan to not let a little tiff ruin two decades of friendship and she agreed. Then she got me up to speed on her situation. The wound from the surgery was painful and Joan was growing weak. She could scarcely sleep, ate little and she asked me if I would take her up for her ongoing treatments.
For seven months we made at least two or three visits to the clinic weekly, an hour's drive from home. I would sit in the parking lot for four or five hours waiting. O had stopped charging Joan for the treatments. Joanie had lost her job to the financial crises and was too weak now to look for another. I often thought O was deliberating treating Joan for free to keep her from going to a real doctor and getting her into big trouble. I pressed Joan harder and harder to go get conventional treatment.
Finally on the last day of August, I gave her an ultimatum. She was furious at me but for the last month she had been too weak to even cook for herself. She lay in bed waiting for my daily visits to feed her or to take her to that clinic.
She stopped speaking to me that day and eventually I went home. But the next day she called and said she was ready to go to the Emergency Room.
The doctors were stunned at the sight. They couldn't believe Joan had endured that for so long. They did what they could. They removed the breast and found that the cancer had spread throughout Joan's body. They couldn't get it all so they just sewed her back up. And treated her for (you guessed it) a bad infection caused by the previous wound not healing in four months.
She has been in a nursing home since the middle of September under heavy medication, waiting to die. In fact when she first arrived she convinced the Hospice nurse that she would rather endure a little pain and keep her mind intact as long as she could. The time is growing short now and she is all but comatose. A few of us have made sure she is rarely alone.
Some have stopped coming by because they don't see the Joan they knew any longer and it frightens them. I have stayed with her everyday for as many hours as I can make available, Everything else is on hold for as long as it takes.
One person told me, "Everyone dies" and it's true.
I believe in an afterlife and so does Joan. But she is scared. I personally think most would be in the final moments, no matter how strong their faith.
That same "Everyone dies" person doesn't understand why I spend so much time at her side, as she has plenty of Nursing Home staff to take care of her.
It's because I comfort her. I support her and I keep her from being afraid.
And it's because everyone dies. And when they die you can't spend anymore time with them. So I'm going to enjoy her company as long as I can.
Because Joanie is my friend.
Epiloge: Today Joanie passed away peacefully in her sleep.
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
|
Still Standing
|
Aug 15, 2009 11:46 pm
2555 Views
|
STILL STANDING
Cautiously striding through days turning to years
Of existence
Occasionally winning, sometimes pummeled harshly
Yet standing
Happy in determined pursuit of absolutely nothing
And everything
Free to experience after years in a comfortable snare
Self created
A stumble, a blink of a dream, a work of art endeavored
To design
A whim of the heart, to construct reality from fancy
Without tools
Confusion and uncertainty. What realm is this where heart
Overrides mind?
The ring draws closer, reflecting a starlit glint on brass
Not reachable
Opportunity fades, blueprints gather dust in a corner
Of reality
Gaze broken by flaw of design, fingers close, grasping wisps
Of wind
Dawn returns, as yesterday and for the foreseeable future
Life awakes
Cautiously striding through the day, hoping for years
Still standing
James
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
|
IT IS ALIVE!!!
|
Jul 23, 2008 6:56 pm
4171 Views
|
Hmmm... This place looks familar. Have I been here before? It feels kinda homey. And there are a lot of beautiful people out there.
Hi ya doll.
Not now T
Hi y'all. Miss me? What do ya mean, "Have you been gone?"
I was recalled briefly to Romulus for a special meeting with the High Council to discuss...
Oh. Not buying that, huh?
Ok, then how about...
I was auditioning at the Grand Old Opery with my six string. My concert date is set for....
Not going for that either? (You must have heard me sing)
Ok, the truth it is.
I have been taking stock of myself for a few weeks and frankly I'm a lttle annoyed. It was actually a card reading from Kel at the Solstice Party which fanned the embers of my annoyance at myself. Immodestly speaking, I have a lot of gifts and tools that have been going unused and I don't mean in my quarry/workshop. (Altho that would be true as well) I decided it was time to get my act together and stop being a putz.
So I've been meditating. And spending a lot of time in the sweatlodge. And just thinking. And most importantly, pushing the envelope to see how much this old '54 can do. As I tell the young guys that work with me...
You don't get stronger unless you push yourself past "I'm tired and want to rest."
There are some things I want. Very much. And I'm going to get them.
Just wanted to let everyone and anyone interested know that I am alive and doing fine. I miss you a bunch... especially you. I have decided to go for quality over quantity on blogging and I have a couple of cool ideas along those lines.
I posted a couple of photos of the Solstice party in my album here. Apparently not everyone, even those in my network can see them but I'll try to rectify that tonight. Now a quick sprint around my watched list and back to work.
Big hugs
Unless you're a guy
Awww what the heck. C'mere bro.
James
|
|
|
8
Comments
|
|
|
A day in the life of a plasterer
|
Jul 4, 2008 1:50 pm
4223 Views
|
Part 2
Monday, Monday
My alarm will nearly wake the dead. Monday it almost had to. We normally start at seven sometimes six am but today we are meeting to drive out of town at 5am. I pull myself out of the Cave and throw on some pants to let the three fuzzies out. Arrrgh I hate waking up in the dark. Freaking daylight savings time. It's not natural to go to sleep when it's light and wake up when it's dark.
Start the hot water for my yummy chocolate cappuccino. Open my breakfast pepsi, down a headache tablet, (did I mention I tried a few brandies to make me go to sleep Sunday night?) Took my vitamins and made my coffee and let the kids in.
Sat down and contemplated my first cigarette of the day. Yeah, yeah I know. Finally woke up enough to put on my work clothes and make my "lunch". My bosses don't take breaks so lunch consists of a pepsi and three bottles of water and a bag of peanuts I can eat on the run.
Got to the meeting place at 4:50 and everyone else was thirty minutes late. Arrrgh! Wish I'd thought of that. We make it to the job site at 6. A huge house nestled up in the foothills near the mountains. But not close enough to stay any cooler. It's 6 am and already 65 degrees. I know it's going to get toasty today.
One boss says, "lets try to stay in the shade all day".
Cool! I agree. Except that the shady side of the building includes a forty by thirty foot ceiling to be stuccoed. If you want to know how it feels to stucco a ceiling, just try pushing a hammer against a ceiling for a couple of hours. And imagine cement falling back in your face while you're doing it.
To make matters worse, this particular job will involve a very thin acrylic finish and the base coat needs to be perfect. We do this by rubbing a neoprene float over and over the base coat just after it sets. Remember the movie The Karate Kid? It's kinda like "Wax on wax off". The wing gets a little tired.
I wore a pedometer once 'cause I was curious about how many miles I put on in a day. On a typical building, I walk about eight miles a day back and forth from the mud board to the wall, up and down on the scaffold, and toting stuff around the building. On this house it was probably double that. No wonder one never sees a fat plasterer.
Didn't make it to a hundred degrees. Only ninety eight. We caught a break.
|
|
|
8
Comments
|
|
|
A day in the life of a plasterer
|
Jul 1, 2008 7:49 pm
4064 Views
|
Did ya ever wonder what a day in the life of a plasterer is like? Of course you haven't. Being the public minded person I am, I'm gonna tell you anyway.
Cause and effect.
We worked Saturday from 7am till about noon. Which gave me time to come home and take a nap so I could enjoy my Saturday night. I like to stay up late and not worry about alarm clocks... or basically anything grown up.
Unfortunately I am also rock solid and dependable. This is a tuff combination. So I control it. Most of the time I am very conservative but sometimes I let T have his head, in a manner of speaking.
I did that Saturday night. Stayed up really late (or early) and then slept late Sunday morning. Which meant I wasn't sleepy until late Sunday night. And we started at 5am Monday. Sooo I worked a nine hour day, without a break, in 98 degree heat on three and a half hours of sleep.
Cause and effect.
Stucco, in case you don't know, is an exterior siding made by combining sand, water and cement and applied either with a machine or by hand. We do it by hand which is the conventional method in our area. By "hand" means scooping the stucco or "mud" onto a 15 by 15 inch flat piece of metal with a handle called a "hoc" and transferring it to a 5 inch by 12 inch trowel and smearing it over "chicken wire" basically.
In an average day between four of us, we will smear about fifteen tons of mud on a house by hand. In addition to building and moving heavy scaffold. It's a hard job but keeps a guy in pretty good shape. When I was young I used to tell people they didn't want to mess with a plasterer. We punch walls for a living.
Next up...
Monday, Monday
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
|
The Saturday Camelot Chronicle oops
|
Jun 29, 2008 7:21 pm
3486 Views
|
It was Short weekend on accounta working Saturday. James likes to cook several meals and stick em in the freezer for the week so he's in the kitchen. He said I could do the editorial this week. As long as I read everything aloud as I type it.
And no cheating. I plan on peaking before you post.
We've been battling grasshoppers this weekend. Little tiny suckers. I wanted to just RAID!! the heck outta them but Mr Greenjames is worried about killing bees and butterflies and spiders.
When he was planning to buy flowers this Spring I said...
"Go plastic. No watering, No feeding. No bugs."
And no scent and no change and no manna and no...
Yeah yeah, go slice some garlic. Anyway, almost all of the flowers he bought and has been so steady watering are green sticks poking outta the ground, 'cause the weedhoppers chewed up all the leaves. Heh, heh.
Anyhow... Gotta brutal work week ahead in 100 degree temps and a different material then we usually put on. It's an acrylic based stuff that looks great, last a loooong time and is a pain in the T!! back to apply. Gonna be a fun week.
.............
A message from Joanie
............
The word cancer means to many imminent death. For me, it has been a teacher on the path of living. All of us have only the moment in which we find ourselves -- and in this moment, life is filled with all the riches that one could ever desire-- if we simply relax and awaken to the awareness that there is no lack and no separation. We are the ocean beneath the waves -- the waves are only the surface of the ocean --- looking deeper, looking inside, we find a calm and peace. This then is our true essence and it is eternal.
In peace and love,
Joan
.............
Recipe
...............
Gingerbread cookies with chocolate
1/2 cup butter or margarine
1/2 cup molasses
2 (1 ounce) squares unsweetened chocolate
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2/3 cup white sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup milk
white sugar
Combine butter or margarine, molasses, and unsweetened chocolate in the top of a double boiler. Heat until chocolate melts. Stir until smooth. Sift together flour, 2/3 cup sugar, baking powder, baking soda, ginger, and salt. Stir in
melted chocolate mixture and milk. Mix well. Chill until firm. Roll dough into 1 inch balls. Roll balls in sugar. Place on an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake at 375 degrees for about 10 minutes.
Yield: 3 Dozen Cookies
..............
Jokes (More bugs! heh,heh)
..............
Every night, Frank would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang.
He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, then left.
The next night, after he finished his 4th beer, the doorbell rang. He walked slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there. The big bug punched him in the stomach, then left.
The next night, after he finished his 1st beer, the doorbell rang again. The same six-foot cockroach was standing there. This time he was kneed in the groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in pain. Then the big bug left.
The fourth night Frank didn't drink at all. The doorbell rang. The cockroach was standing there. The bug beat the snot out of Frank and left him in a heap on the living room floor.
The following day, Frank went to see his doctor. He explained events of the preceding four nights. "What can I do?" he pleaded. "Not much" the doctor replied. "There's just a nasty bug going around."
......................
Ask T The alter ego with the answers
.....................
A lady in Kansas writes....
"Dear T. As a devoted horticulturist, I thought you would enjoy hearing this.
After years of paying outlandish water bills in the Summer trying to keep my
flowers from wilting..."
T...
"And constantly weeding and battling insects..."
Stop it T, you're making that up.
"I decided to cover my back yard and all my flower beds in concrete and install a nice artificial lawn and plastic flowers in a realistic looking synthetic soil.
Since then I am amazed at how much more time I have for enjoying life and visiting the great pubs on Union avenue..."
Sigh. Click Add and come help me do the dishes
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
|
Party Report Card
|
Jun 23, 2008 11:33 am
4065 Views
|
From my perspective
Over all attendance- B+ A few didn't come, one couple went home shortly after arriving due to illness (they hadn't eaten my chili yet so I'm innocent) But Nearly everyone I most desired to see were there
Science- B+ The table fountain I brought looked good but a couple of fountains in it didn't work and it leaked a tad on the table which I don't think was level.
My nephew's music equipment functioned great and he did a great job of selection.
Cooking- A- All of my green Chili with Pork was eaten and the pan scraped clean so it must have been well received. My first ever attempted veggie lasagna was only half gone but my Brother in law wanted to take the rest home.
The ribs were very good but I thought the turkey drumsticks were a little underdone.
Mathematics- B+ We weren't sure how many were going to be there and set up too many tables so the gathering was scattered out a little too much. There was a lot of extra food but better too much then not enough.
We finally found enough candles to place on all the tables.
Joanie and Kel were the only single women (Ari has a beau) there over 14. Kel rebuffed my advances so I had to flirt with Charlie. And he hadn't shaved.
Music- B My nephew picked a lot of good songs but I would have interlaced a few more Celtic type tunes. My fault, as he loves that kind of music but I didn't get with him before the party. The part that drops the grade down was that he played the Macerana (I hate that song) by request and YMCA by the Village People. Arrrgh!
I had requested Play Me by Neil Diamond as it was kinda Joanie's and my song from the old days. Unfortunately I felt compelled to ask her to dance which is not my strong suit. It kinda surprised her as in our 25 year marriage we had danced only once or maybe twice. (We disagree on the figure)
What's that? Oh it was unfortunate 'cause we were the only two on the floor and it made my Fonzie like dancing skills even more evident.
Citizenship A++ Everyone was beautiful and many actually wore Celtic attire.
Uhm, the host waited too long to look and couldn't find anything. He also woosed out on the opening speech he had planned but I don't take away from the grade 'cause of extra credit gained for...
Kel and Ari. I was tempted to write something snarky about them as I read some of their comments about me... (sucks rocks, indeed) but they made my weekend by being here.
Joanie's brother and sister sitting at the same table after not speaking for twenty years was heart warming.
My Sister's teen aged son and my Nieces teen aged son fascinated by the music equipment (and not playing some gory video game) and Joe teaching them how to use it was excellent.
The look on Joanie's face after the party as she thanked me (with a special thanks for not giving my speech and embarrassing her) was worth the effort alone.
Soooo things are back to dull and normal. I'm looking forward to catching up in Blogdom
|
|
|
10
Comments
|
|
|
The Saturday Camelot Chronicle
|
Jun 21, 2008 2:59 pm
3919 Views
|
Showtime.
Did I dot all the "T_s" and cross all the "I_s"
OOPS
Uh oh....
One more hour and it's off to set things up at the Hall for the party.
Will every one who was invited show up?
Will Kel spill more coffee on herself?
Will Ari fall into the river and drift downstream to Kansas?
Will James have a nervous breakdown from having to address the gathering?
Will Pueblo recover?
Will T take over at the wrong time and get me banished from my family?
Join us next time for the answers to these and many other questions.
Same Bat time
Same Bat channel
|
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
|
Countdown to the Party
|
Jun 16, 2008 5:22 am
4056 Views
|
T minus six and counting till the party.
I've been busy cleaning up Camelot so as not to embarrass myself when Kel and her mystery guests see it. I hadn't done any deep cleaning in about a month and the nearby prairie is always trying to reclaim and reshape my home. Between the dust and the weeds and the grasshoppers and the hair from my Fuzzy four leggeds it's been a chore. Nearly done with that and ready to devote my attention to the details of the party.
To tell the truth I'm a little nervous. I've had parties for this amount of people before but not since my college days. In those days all I had to do was turn the stereo up louder, send someone to the liquor store and roll the passed out drunk from last night's party off the bathtub chair. Gee I wonder why I didn't graduate or why I have limited recollection of those days?
This time I have people coming in from at least three states (depending on where Kels mystery guests are from) and there will be no alcohol at the party. Hmmm... may have to adjourn to Camelot after the festivities to celebrate in a more conventional manner.
This time there will be legitimate food, not a couple of big bags of chips and a container of cheap dip.
This time there will be dancing and no surprises finding some couple doing the horizontal mambo on my waterbed.
This time there should be no mad scramble to hide illegal substances if a police cruiser pulls up in front of the party. The only questionable green substance will be my four alarm green chili.
|
|
|
6
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (Sir_T) use [blog Sir_T] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
|
81
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
