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Love Poem I wrote to you.
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Jan 28, 2011 1:20 pm
2914 Views
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If reality had no distance,
I’d be at your side
caressing your very being
and gazing into your eyes
wanting only to hold you tightly,
just to know your touch
I always knew that I’d find you,
my true and only love
Fate is games within destiny’s life,
as we live in the smile of sunsets
time for wanting more,
needing the glow of your excitement
so hard to watch the evening close,
without knowing what’s in store
the day begets my focus,
as your image crosses my thought
wondering if your smiling,
in pain, or lost in thought.
I vision us together, hand in hand we go
smiling at the children we’ve blessed, and helped to grow
I hold your face and almost cry, gently tracing your outer shell
waiting so long to hold you, needing you by my side.
I call you in the daytime
you smile and wish me well
I promise you the promise
of which you know so well
a day like any other, but warmer then you knew
I need your love forever, before it’s time to go.
The falling leaves line the path
you shake your head and start to laugh
I kiss you quick, and you pull me close
tears streak my cheeks as you feel my ghosts
filled with passion, intense heat
we fall slowly to the path
and never miss a beat.
Forever we vow together
and cling to each others stride
knowing we were meant to be
finally, we smile with pride
And we live and love as no one ever could
because thats the way I wrote this
understood.
Some day my life will be told, perhaps different than you knew.
because we hide in plain sight and watch the rain, while shades of gray submerge the fears, kneeling to passion's pull.
The past we have, ending the same, yet how quick the beginning fades, so onward now, don't ever stop, hold on to loving grace.
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WINTER'S COLD
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Jan 27, 2011 11:05 am
1984 Views
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Winters cold grey
Dawn woke from the storm of last night
The deer surrounded me in the dark, waiting
Moon light formed crystals of ice into sculptures divine
Transported, I feel the headlights of oncoming traffic
I'd forgotten to turn on the radio
I held reverie of your image
I was with you, in you, and of you.
The dark drive clicked by as if watching the broken highway lines zip by until they melted together, childlike in a trance, yet feeling your breath, and knowing your charm.
Perhaps the entrance of a new day, the exit of a life forgotten, yet always remembered at the worst moments in time, Shall lead a new way. Your smile wakes my spirit, your lips hold my desire, and as if on auto pilot I reach the destination of so called work. Empty is the day with out your messages, cold as the air during an ice storm. Only you hold the warmth I seek; only you stir the feelings that bring my intensity to the point in which all is erased but passion, beyond all dreams, and joys. Is every one on this level I wonder? I need more, I have to feel alive, maybe that's what it is that you propel in me.
I reach for my coffee, and think of you. You are always in my thoughts yet I don’t honestly know you. Can I trust you? Can I trust what is unseen?
Tears rolled down my cheeks as the credits slowly rolled.
Another movie watched alone, another moment lost in thought.
Emotional turmoil, endless hesitations seeking slowly gaining life.
Confidence strong as the coffee brews
You never fear, what you never knew
Everything changes, without a clue
But the air in my tire slowly leaks
Winter's cold, grips what's free
Hard landscape, Frigid sea's
What lays ahead for me?
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Every thing has meaning
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Jan 21, 2011 11:03 am
2638 Views
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The emptiness I feel comes from the lack of what once was.
Perhaps I cling to tight to the memories I've rationalized into be happiness.
Happiness was never there, yet it felt as comfort, not knowing true happiness. I deceived the interpretations I projected as emotions of trust, integrity and love. While all along I was alone in this thinking. And so I wonder?
How many of us have seen death?
How many of us procrastinate on our true goals only to believe that we are comfortable as we are?
How many of us wait for others to make decisions for us, through pain or abstains?
And the young cashier lay on the floor, not breathing, her face blue, and her hands white. I called out for help. From behind the counter a woman appeared from a back room. She screamed and I dialed 911 on my cell phone. Within mins. EMTs were there to no avail. She had past.
I had seen her maybe a week before, smiling and talking of her daughter. How cold this winter was, and how much she loved summer. I knew she didn't plan to die on this Tuesday. I saw her eyes, her face, her lack of life, and I shuttered as I slowly walked back to my car. Tears streaked my cheeks as I numbly drove home.
I never purchased the gasoline I intended to buy. I had just stopped to top off the tank because of the cold. I had walked into what will always be with me. And what will drive me to do what I can do each day instead of putting off what I feel I can.
The determination that drives me to be who I am, never sleeps.
And the field of vision widens each day I'm alive.
Each day passes faster than the last, each year blurs into my pool of life as I seek meaning from this time I’ve spent alive.
Family, friends, and strangers all thread my soul together to keep me whole.
Every thing has meaning
I wonder where I’ll be
Who I’ll be with
If the decision is up to me?
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Dreaming
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Jan 18, 2011 9:16 am
2429 Views
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With a breeze in my face, and the salt in the air, I see past the horizon, daring into new adventures. Chapters of pages filled with life. My motions and feelings holding you close as whispers comfort, and flow inhabitations away.
We start to kiss
And then I wake:
Still the same, same as I was, same as it is.
Yet in my dreams, I'm the hero, the good, the protector and procurer of happiness and delight.
Reality plays, and I am but who I am.
Just a man, who enjoys the sea
Just a man that sees what can be
And with few words spoken
I understand, and know
Having lived on the edge
And lived on the road
I wonder if, and when
But these answers only bring questions
And I dream but again.
The last:
She was good, kind in her own way, sexy as a feline, but hard on the exterior. She opened up to me, and we began. But the walls were too high to climb, and her expectations changed with the wind. After 5 months of walking on eggshells with hopes of change I bounced out of her life, she never changed. My smile couldn't do it my glow turned away. I was better off alone, till a sunnier day.
So, it's been a year now. And what have I learned?
In my dreams, I'm the hero, the good, the protector and procurer of happiness and delight. In real life I'm fun, thoughtful and easy to talk too, sometimes too loud.
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New England winter
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Jan 17, 2011 11:05 am
2419 Views
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The beauty of life touches me every day.
Here in New England the winter takes its toll.
But, the summer months make up the difference.
Where is summer
Where is the warmth
Lost in icy winter
Storms from the North
And the snow flies
And the sleet falls
Intensifying winter cold
So, I dream of summer solace
Make believe it's true
That butterflies are flying
And the heat I feel comes from you.
And the Boat started with ease as the dawn broke the night. We'd slept through gentle lapping waves holding each other light. As my thoughts sifted the plans to come, I studied just where I've been. Timing and location have never been my friend. I Like the feel of the water, because it makes me smile. I love the sun on my face even if it burns. The fantasy of summer love forever transforms me young. Below I smell fresh coffee, above I see the world. The sea sparkles diamonds upon my path, with promises to come.
With-in the moment beyond the years, memories of where I've been, bring me to here.
Seeking that feeling of closeness, breathing the joy of love, if only winter were over, I feel that love would come.
Exhales of dreams
Sighs in-between
Laughter and smiles
Sensual desires
I swing my boat through the channel markers without ever knowing the depths, trusting once again. Confidence gaining strength, knowing what I want, wanting all I take.
Outside the chill of winter, inside the warmth of heart.
I'm waiting for the summer, chancing a new start.
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Snow Storm
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Jan 13, 2011 11:06 am
2309 Views
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Driving in the snow is like waiting in the rain, for a ride that never shows.
I wandered through my contact list, thinking of making a call.
When I realized that perhaps, I should do nothing at all.
I shut the phone off, bounced through the house
Set up the slow cooker and headed for out and about.
I'm two blocks from the sea, and 50 miles from work
4 months from my boat, but a million thoughts from today.
And with cash flow low, I know I'll survive, never looking tattered
Having way too much pride.
The post office held a weeks worth of my mail, because I don't get there often, and I just don't care. Bills don't excite me, and advertisements are a bore. Rarely do I receive anything more. But, there before me as if invisible magic had occurred, I received a frilly invitation to something out of this world. I smiled and felt the glow of something more. For, I was invited to a reception that I could not ignore.
And the snow came, covering the road, innocence recovered, happiness restored. The excitement of youth resides in unknown conclusions, all projections aside.
A chance meeting, with nothing to hide, no knife like edges only warmth in the eyes.
Dreams take place in moments as these, in my heart I strive to see, were I belong, where I should be.
Hot burning anxiety gripped my being as my vehicle lost traction and slid sideways cross the road. Oncoming traffic slowed then stopped. I bounced through the snow bank and into the marsh like riding a motorcycle through a cornfield to fast to stop.
Never made it to the post office, and I shake my head and smile.
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Echoes of laughter
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Jan 11, 2011 6:34 am
2561 Views
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In the darkness, trails of tail lights charted the highway as if ribbon candy melting over dark chocolate hills. I stopped my car to gaze at the sight. The snow had yet to fall, but it wouldn't be long before the storm would hit. The radio blared out the closings and postponements, interrupting the musical content that normally eased my drive.
The excitement of a storm stirred my soul and brought out the energy that only youth could engage. My thoughts faded to years gone by, fireplaces and young love. Smoothness and skiing, sledding and skating, thick sweaters that held delight, and as always the darkness of the sea, on a moonless night. I wish time and time again that I could be more than I am, that I could say more than I say, and that I let someone in.
The bridges of friendship, the embrace of desire, I find within me, all I admire. I am without yet within grasp, wondering when it'll be my time at last. Smiling with my eyes as I gaze through the past, I often mistake kindness for love that will last. A fool I've been, perhaps I can't change, but the storm will be here soon, better get under way.
House is empty, no one there
Sun rises softly
Only to disappear
And I wait, want, and remember, all that I dare
Echoes of laughter ring in my ear
Seductive silence
Warmth from within
Playfully passionate
Happiness lives
You understand, you know, I know that the gift you bring is more than the written, or the spoken. It’s in the way your thoughts connect expression to purpose. The softness of myrrh through out your motions. And you smile, because you simply doubt the connection. As the snow begins to fall.
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Lost
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Jan 7, 2011 6:41 am
2316 Views
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And within my life, things and people have come and gone.
left are just the memories that flood my thoughts and stain my soul with tears of failure that I can never overcome. Perhaps time will soften what was, but I will never be the same.
I shut most people out, as I try not to involve myself with the every moment drama that clings like ivy. But some how I found myself lonely. I needed or felt I needed companionship, as well as affection. We met and ate, laughed and planned. 8 months later we lived together. 4 months after I moved out. Last week I read her obituary, gone forever. Loss to friends and family.
I cried as I walked the windy shore.
Nothing to be said anymore.
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Break-Down
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Jan 6, 2011 12:38 pm
2435 Views
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Seeking Partner in Life: Must be loyal, trusting, and joyful.
Honesty, and Compassion is desired.
Passion and Desire to Please a must.
Looks and Fitness depend on Attitude.
Willing to travel, and loves affection.
Hard working and intelligent.
Non-argumentative
Spirited, and headstrong
Please send replies with current photo.
All inquiries answered
After a lapse of time are we really ever ready?
Time line of a Backward breakdown
The End
Forgiveness
Grieving
Guilt
Emotional turmoil
Fighting
The anger
The hurt
The emptiness
Miss-trust
Deception
The quiet
Contentment
Happiness
Excitement
Cautious
The signs were clear, yet onward we traveled only clear of all good intentions.
So it is, and as we move slower to the next, we find ourselves reading minds and hearing the unspoken. (because we know now what we know now) As opportunities fade into the background we release what could never be, as fate.
So, tears dried and emotions dusted, ever onward, always moving, like the tide we flow never ending on adventures that journey through our soul.
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Now's the time!
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Jan 5, 2011 4:00 am
2077 Views
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As I wonder of the coming week, the week is half over. My life is half over. Every thing is used. I feel used. Not New anymore. My body aches, and there is pain in my shoulders. My legs are stiff, and my back creaks, at least until my second cup of coffee. So, I begin anew! Back to walking more and exercise. At least until boredom or other plans crowd the time I plan to do these youthful follies. More sleep would be great, and oh, lets have less stress too! I'm really reaching now. OK back to work!
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