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Can love be placed on a timer?
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Jul 8, 2010 10:59 am
3287 Views
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I woke-up empty this morning
Aroused, yet empty
Alone and tired
Thirsty for youth
Craving the electricity once held
Feeling out the old memories to better understand what came to pass.
Does love begin?
Or does life embrace uncertainty within the emotional complexity that we believe is love. It could all start with lust, couldn�t it? A lust that reels us closer to the center of compassion and within a depth of surprise that attaches and triggers what we cherish as our own. A love, a shared bonding experience that breaks down guarded walls that we fought so hard and long to build and polish.
Where and how does this happen?
A city loves travelers, but I felt alone. I needed to eat, yet had little money on me, and didn�t want to search for an ATM, so I entered a small neighborhood bar.
The woman behind the massive bar looked tired, and worn down, but in her eyes she had the glow of sparkle that explained the heat I felt in her voice. We exchanged the common pleasantries knowing what we thought we knew. And as we melted into each others smiles we felt as if, and lingered a bit around the subject of relationships. Jokes exchanged with cautious innuendo, all the while seeking affirmation of our own intellect. And as we danced the dance of flirtatious sensuality we knew that we both needed, and wanted what we felt was love. Not just the climax of a sexual encounter, but the closeness of true loving, and giving of ourselves. That honest, raw, power of emotional non-conformity which holds more electricity than lightning. I ate the burger and fries she cooked in the back room, without ever glancing away from her direction. She smiled as her hips swayed with eyes closed in a salutary display of lustful playfulness.
The feeling of loneliness subsided.
Hunger lifted
I understood the plan without verbal foreplay.
And I smiled.
Can love be placed on a timer?
Or does a life time of like transpose it's self into love?
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5
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Back to Work
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Jul 6, 2010 6:46 am
3335 Views
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I'm on land now, been away for 4 days. It was great not thinking of all the grown up things we all subject ourselves to.
I'm glad to be back, but look foreward to the weekend once again.
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8
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Drifting through days
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Jun 28, 2010 10:03 am
2288 Views
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Drifting through days, like reliving a bad dream, I tend to find nothing solid to place my footing. Empty compartments within my soul seem to rise up within the quite of surrendered restlessness. No matter how much time has past, no matter the degree of amends made, no matter where I am, or who I’m with, the emptiness over shadows all I am.
The weekend:
My boat carried me through the sound and into open water. Clear turquoise blue surf opened my heart, and held my spirits high. Fishing was good. The weather better. I hadn't seen the ocean so flat in many seasons. Seventy degrees off shore, eighty five degrees inland, beautiful day. The out going tide held strong as my catch was best then. Once the tide turned I headed on to Long Island for food and sights. The port held little boat traffic, and I was docked in no time at all. I walked the main street to find a small deli. Ate, and moved on to the shops on Front street. Italian ice for desert, and then a stroll on the docks. I love looking at all the different boats. Catching the fever of what could be, but probably never will. Dreams of lifetimes ago, when we were young and invincible. I smile as I gaze past the horizon, knowing no one waits for me, and home was never built to last. Drifting over the shoal I caught my limit of fish and then set coarse for home. Another weekend into my memory banks of sunny days, and happy times.
Sunday:
I whispered my prayers as I approached the channel. Low tide was ripping and the depth of my fuel tanks low. I'd pushed back my return time Saturday night missing the closing time of the gas dock. Within the moments that make up a close call, I perform my best. Navigating through a fleet of Sunday boaters on they're way to drunken misadventures I make it to the gas dock and revive my tanks once again.
The afternoon brought thoughts of how it was, and where I'm going. No real answers, but reflection just the same. Fish kept me alert and the sun brought my smile. I pulled into my harbor at dusk, and headed into my drive home with a dull emptiness which often comes to me on a Sunday eve.
Work on Monday, as always I'm up before I need to be. Next weekend I hope to be in Rhode Island, good weather permitting.
Sometimes Its good to be alone, other time I miss the closeness of dreams shared.
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8
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Imagine if:
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Jun 24, 2010 12:36 pm
2046 Views
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Imagine if:
We were all filled with love,
and held the joy of completeness
deep in our souls.
And money held no factor
for everything we needed came from above
and the seasons brought new excitement
with hunger we ache to share
work brought fulfillment
and everyone truly cared.
Love lasted forever
and kisses meant more then breath
Everyone could taste the ocean
and no one feared death.
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5
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Negative thoughts will never promote happiness!
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Jun 23, 2010 9:32 am
2439 Views
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The sorrow of ones spirit begins with the rejection of the inner voice.
Negative thoughts will never promote happiness.
So, I face the sun and plan my way projecting the feelings that I long to say.
Maybe to you, maybe for me, can't seem to see which it shall be.
I smell the sparkle of the sea in your eyes
I see the heat of the sun in your soul
May you feel the mist of your fate while I=m thinking of you.
For, I'll smile into the wind and whisper praises of youth.
As we dance upon our dreams,
And choose directions by our means
We start out wanting what we have
And end up having what we need.
I turn to face you and see
Your eyes fixed upon me
Knowing the connection is real
At least that's how I feel
Seeing your beautiful smile
Lets me feel as though a child
Until now, I didn't believe
That was the negative in me.
Now I know, I believe
I can look back and see
Hoping for weekend sun
Work week presses on
Time flies bye
Happy sigh
As we begin once again.
I had a good evening. After work I drove down to my boat and set out with no real destination. I had rods on board but I didn't really want to fish. The sea was flat, and the breeze calm, so I zipped across the sound and tooled into the North fork of Long Island.
On the way I drifted through Plum Gut just to gaze at the birds feeding on the bait fish being driven to the surface by the larger game fish. Like being in a movie, I was in awe of everything I could see. With the orient point lighthouse as my back drop and the sun in its golden hour it was just amazing. Not another soul was out, I smiled into the breeze and headed west toward Greenport. The Peconic was as smooth as glass. I settled into a meal and some bar chatter, passed some time on Front Street before heading back to my own mooring. By the time I hit my head on the pillow it was 1:00 am. Up for Work at 4:30 am and then back to the sea for me. Tired in a good way, yet tired of being alone.
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8
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Contentment
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Jun 22, 2010 6:39 am
2106 Views
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The ocean was gray today, and the sky was the same color, so the horizon was hard to distinguish, and the distance just seemed to fade away. I could see the wake of a nearly indistinguishable powerboat as it pushed past one of the channel markers in the outer harbor, all the while smelling the deep scent of wild roses that cascaded the path. And as thoughts of all the reasons I worry subsided, I realized that nothing is as important as the relationships built upon love and trust. Time and memories played out within ripples of tears that could fill the sea. The still waters depth covers up the emotional breaking points of what could never be. So my eyes seldom focus upon eternity for any length of time, knowing that everything changes within a blink of an eye.
As the sun burned off the morning mist, the distance of far away became near. The shapes of cities new to me drafted an outline of new beginning. The breeze brought my smile, and the thought of your love warmed my soul. I know what it is to wait, as I know what it is to want, and within my internal compass I know that my course is true.
The day was still, the water smooth, within moments the birds swirled over head diving and circling in the golden light of late afternoon. An empty lighthouse, ships and sea, I smiled as I felt the salty sea breeze. Imagining your smooth skin caressing me, holding me as to merge happiness within the excitement of sensual desires, I feel loved and wanted. Turning slowly towards the outer reefs, gazing over the fortress of ruins that ebbed within the fishing grounds I watched the trail of my wake, and held these thoughts as if. Knowing now that it is a new day, and a new chapter, with many memories to come, so I smile into the breeze and hope my dreams never diminish as I long to fulfill more then my destiny holds.
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Thank you!
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Jun 16, 2010 11:13 am
2277 Views
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There are no coincidences, only opportunities, therefore, I risk, for dreams will fade if you chance no more. Time is so precious, as it is the only truth we have as a measurement. I seek the optimism of sunny days, and calm seas, knowing that when you take my hand, you will find happiness which shall never end.
Within the time it takes to turn away, just smile knowing that you've made me happy just to read my lines. Leave a comment, read, please stay. For the gift I leave for you is in what I say. Your gift to me, is your company. Thank you!
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12
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Thinking too Far
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Jun 15, 2010 7:44 am
1845 Views
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The weekend brings calm to my thoughts, with weather permitting I'll take a trip out of state. (By boat of coarse) Things seem to have a way of adjusting themselves to expand my character, diversity I know well. With a fresh tide, and the wind back my back, I'll make the harbor of choice with a smile and a nod. The sound of the sails and the rhythm of the sea, I'll know the peace of those before me. Sometimes I need to just drift for a bit, reflect the good and press away the bad, saved for no one unspoken as if unseen. Knowing more then we should, we seek the warmth of the new day. Time drifts as do our fears, and suddenly it's gone.
This year has been good to me, my health has held, and I’m working steady. The spring has been better then the last. As summer rises I feel the glory of freedom with each sunrise. Free from worry, and free from thoughts that once held me down. Thinking too far into the future does that. So, I smile into the sun once more. Knowing that fate shall hold me in its grace, and that I am a lucky man!
Smiling we knew, the warmth of more than friendship swirled past the dream and into the reality of being. The day had been exciting, and with the full moon rising, romance hung in the air. The restaurant was busy, and as we over heard each adjoining conversation smiles became laughter. Holding hands and rubbing thumbs, knowing that the connection was more than just the meal, but of meaning and desires. No distance to far, no fear of committing, we glide toward destiny without boundaries of time nor age.
The night brightened the stars as if we were at sea. The warm breeze coaxed my smile, as I felt your smooth skin. Wanting your entirety, while knowing your core. Footprints faded from life, before. For we were all that mattered this moment. You knew, this was more. Never wanting outwardly, yet hearing your inner voice, for I am yours, as much as you are part of me, now and forevermore. Like the dream, we awoke. Understanding less, while needing more. Where is this love I dream? And the bell of enchantment tolls, over is the rest, time for work. We move toward what we know, letting on to no one, as we wish, and hope of tomorrows sunrise.
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5
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When I think of summer:
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Jun 10, 2010 12:28 pm
2062 Views
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When I think of summer:
I think of misty dawns
Feeding rich green lawns
And the comforting warmth
Where smooth caresses belong
Windows open
Misty rain falls steadily.
The scent of your smooth skin
I wet my lips,
Feeling the heat from within me rise.
Making dream ripples within my thoughts,
As the breeze drifts rain to the sill and nearby.
Lazy days of rain filled nights
Always bring a smile to my voice.
Thoughts of love making always rise
When the moistness of the earths flow
Commands my senses from the inside.
A watchful eye
A dune climbed
The roar of the lull
While surfing slows
Spirits High
While skipping stones
The end will come
And make me cry
Until then we smile and wave
Into the sunset, of another day
Pictures taken, peace within
Fire-flies, lightning,
Marshmallows browned
The breeze softly blowing
Summers sound
Close my eyes, tears inside
Shake the shivers away
Holding out, holding on
Seeking summers shade.
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4
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Evermore
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May 26, 2010 4:24 am
1750 Views
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Save me! Hold me.
Whispers calm the tide
Breathe my breath,
Kiss me deep
Forever held inside.
The new day rises, I feel your smile today.
Talk as if nothings wrong sending signals of true faith.
Weekends come, workdays pass, getting older, shaking loose the past.
Confidence growing, talking as if we know.
No one truly knows us, complexity without knowing
Simply fades to dusk
And I kiss you sweetly, and pull you to my soul, never felt such heat as this.
Yet, perhaps you know.
And within your arms I'm wrapped, I breathe your breath as I whisper to your soul.
Leave me not my love, never let me go.
Drinking your laughter with each beat of my heart.
Holding your head to my chest as I close my eyes.
Feeling the contentment of being one within ourselves.
Take my hand, never stop.
Forever being one as we wake upon each new day.
That is where the dream begins, and the truth fades away.
Alone I am, punishing myself.
Constant exposure without closure of my broken heart.
And the tide hails the moon beam of distant visions not dreams.
Memories subsided now, for all is as it seems.
Gazing past the channel, beyond the sea this day.
Why am I waiting, must be pre-determined, or else I’d be on my way.
And we dance: Praising all that brings a smile, because life is the only canvas we have to paint. Brush strokes so vivid are the feelings that make up your smile, we repeat what it is we know, and drown in the evermore.
Because it's never too late to live happily ever after!
As we smile into the sun once more.
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